Monday, September 10, 2007

New ward sadness

Well...last nights meeting couldn't have gone worse. The way the new ward boundaries were divided totally devastated me. I sat there looking at the map with tears rolling down my face, unable to control my emotions. As you all know I've have a hard time adjusting since we moved out here 6 months ago. It was hard to find women who were more my age/had older children/things in common. I sought out people that I seemed to click with because there are not that many. EVERYONE that I have actually made friends with are now in a different ward. Even the younger girls that I liked are gone. All but one of my favorite people GONE. It feels like we've moved again because we are starting all over. Even Mark has lost all of his favorite people. I've cried most the night and the morning. This is just really hard. I imagine by Sunday and we attend our new ward that I've have to put on a brave face and start the friend making process all over again. We'll have a new bishop and a new relief society president...none of which knows what I have to offer or the kind of person I am, so I'll have to prove myself all over again. I know I'll do it, but right now I'd rather crawl into a hole for a while. I really adored my old bishop and RS president. They are just really good people. You know what's ironic is that the first house we almost moved into is in the other ward boundaries WITH all my favorite people. I'm just so sad!
The luncheon was a success. Pictures and recipes to follow.

23 comments:

Desi said...

I completely understand what you are going through. Our wards split about 6 months ago and I am extremely shy. I was taken out of the Young Women's program at that time and I had only been in for about 6 months and was loving it. I just felt like everything that I knew was gone. I didn't want to go to church for weeks, but I would drag myself every Sunday fighting back tears. I have adjusted now and everything is for the best, our Bishop has been wonderful even though I didn't think I was going to like him at first. I think everything has actually worked out for the best. I hope it will all work out for you too. Good luck and keep your chin up.

lavon said...

SWEETIE, EVERTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. I'M NOT A BLOGGER; BUT I DO READ A FEW BLOGS, AND JUST FROM READING YOURS I KNOW THAT YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL PERSON. JUST BE YOURSELF, AND THAT ALONE LETS EVERYONE KNOW THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO PROVE. YOU HAVE A LOT TO GIVE AND THEY {THE CHURCH MEMBERS} ARE SO BLESSED TO BE GAINING YOUR SWEET FAMILY.

Patti_Cake said...

Awww Jolene I am so very sorry. I know it is very very hard and honey you don't have to "prove" anything.

homedaisy said...

i'm sorry, jolene. but i know you will be a blessing to your new group. they are the lucky ones.

elisha said...

Yeah, that's tough. I promise that you'll feel comfortable again in a few weeks. Thinking of you!

Andi said...

Jolene, your new group will love you...I just know they will. I don't really understand how the Wards and the division of them work since I'm a Baptist and we can go to Church wherever we please. I do have to tell you this...getting to know you through your blog has made me say...and Robin and I have said it to each other...I think I want to be a Morman! Guess I can't pay you a higher compliment than that!

It will all be okay...really it will! Hugs!

velvet brick said...

I can only attempt to understand how it must feel to be told where you have to go to church. I am so sorry that the new boundaries didn't go so well. I know you were worried about it, and apparently, rightly so! But Jolene, this much IS NOT going to change. #1. Your new ward is going to admire and love you as much, if not more, than your other one. #2. Your new friends (yes, you will have new friends there! : ) will love all of your talent, your heart, your spirit and your beautiful, kind smile! #3. Your 'old ward' friends are not going to be out of your life...just out of your ward. You'll still talk with them, have lunch with them, share with them. It's ok to be upset. But it will pass. Thanks for being so honest and brave with your feelings. That's one of your fantastic qualities! :) Love and peace in your nervous little heart, girlfriend! Love you!
Carol

Valerie said...

big hugs, honey. and since you know i know soooo little about LDS, why can't you just go back to the other ward?

Kim j said...

Jolene, I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now, will a big ol cyber ((((HUG))) help. I hope you feel better about the situation really soon.

kim j

Jacquie said...

Hugs to you. You seem like such a warm and open person, I bet you will do great. Anyone would behappy to have you in their ward. You rock!

Maren said...

That is tough. I'm sorry it went that way. *hugs* I think you are so friendly and talented that you will find your place.

Caroline said...

I am so sorry that you are so sad about this and I know it must be tough. There must be a very special reason that the maps were changed. YOu may not know why right now, but I know one day it will all become clear to you.

Melissa said...

You'll be fine. It'll just take some time for the new folks to see how wonderful you are!

Maybe you should give them your blog address to help things along!

Anonymous said...

Jolene:

Each of your friends:

1.) Have a car.
2.) Have a cell phone
3.) Have a house
4.) Live in Maricopa

Therefore, you will still be able to see/call them. :)

Lara said...

Jolene,

I am so sorry that you were affected by the new boundaries {although I confess that as a non-Mormon, I don't understand why you can't stay with the old ward even with the new boundaries!) You've dealt with enough change over the last several months! As hard as it will be, you will make new friends in the new ward. From your blog, I've learned that you are a generous, witty, perservering woman. You will do fine!!!!!

Lara in CA

linda t said...

I agree with everyone Jolene... you are such an amazing woman, that they are blessed to have you and your family. I am just so sorry that you have to start over. But remember Jolene, it's OK to let them reach out to you and bless you and invest in you... you are so sweet and giving, that I know it's hard for you to let others do for you. It's OK to be on the recieving end Jolene. Thank you for sharing your heart Jolene. Cuz we all care.

Susie Q said...

Oh sweetie. I am so sorry. It would be devastating to me as well. But, as everyone has said, just be YOU and all will be fine. You are such a dear and giving lady and we all love you.
It won't take but a small amount of time for those in your new ward to flock to you.

And just call those others up and have lunch or dinner or tea some time. : )

Hugs are being sent...

Love,
Sue

Chickenbells said...

Dang it Hon...it's not fair! (this has been my rally cry since I was talking...my mother told me so) You are going to be great, and I can see you just fitting right in with no problems and leading the friend making. The one good thing about starting over is...well, the starting over part (even if it's hard at first...) Our greatest times to shine is when we face adversity!

Denise Bryant said...

Sorry you are so sad but I know you will fit right in with your bubbly personality and heart of gold. So explain to me about this ward thing...I am confused. What is your religious faith...maybe that would help me understand or allow me to look it up for myself. Good luck...sending lots of warm thoughts your way!

Nikki *Ü* said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I've lived in the same ward my entire life, not even kidding. I only went to the singles ward once and it was in our same building! I sure hope things go well in your new ward, even though I know it will be hard to adjust to. (((HUGS)))

Kassie said...

Jolene,
Sorry it went the way you hoped it wouldn't. I had a dream they split our wards right down our street and I was the one in the 'other' ward. I woke up ready to plant a for sale sign in my yard. I know you will jump right in and make yourself loved. How fun to find more friends. Hang in there.

Kim - ScrapToMyLu said...

I bet you find your new ward a better fit for you. I know you'll miss your old friends, but now you'll just have more. Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jolene, I hope everything is going ok in you new ward, and you have made some nice new friends.

Amie xx