Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Organizing and happiness...

Y'all know I love to organize. I'm pretty good at getting things done to where they look good and make sense....not necessarily maintaining (hence the condition of my messy scraproom this very moment) These are a few things from our church buildings library. It makes me nuts that some things are in baggies, some in containers (some broken), some have nothing at all. Check out that label on the crayons. It says "Maricopa Ward"! You're probably thinking to yourself..."so what". In my organizational freak brain that tells me that the library hasn't been organized for a really really long time since Maricopa now has 7 wards. It shouldn't bug me, but it does. They did ask me to organize it so I took it upon myself to hit the back to school sales at Wal-Mart to get some basic supplies and containers.
Now everything is separated into containers that match and are properly labeled for teachers to check out things they need for their class that day. Each container not only has the description, but a stock number so when they are checked out they have to write the number on the sheet. It makes it easier to find missing items instead of just saying we are missing 2 things of chalk and erasers. I will know who checked out the missing #3 and #8. That little library needs a lot more organizing. So many things in there from the dark ages or completely non existent. At least I have a good start.
I really wish I could say that I'm happy with my calling, but I'm not. I cried Saturday night and pretty much all day Sunday. It affects my mood every single day. I've been taught to accept whatever callings are given to me and to serve to the best of my ability. That's just who I am, but I've never struggled so much with a new calling. I have yet to get the feeling that this is where I should be. I've been so emotional and grouchy. On Sunday while I was at church when people would ask me how I'm doing. Instead of lying and saying the normal "I'm good", I said..."You know what, I'm not going to sugar coat over my mood. I'm really grumpy and not very happy." How bad is that?! How does one respond to that when they are expecting an "I'm good, how are you?" It got worse as I went throughout my church meetings. Let me explain...I have to arrive early to open the library. I close it just as sacrament starts. Just before sacrament ends I go re-open it and stay in there until about 10 minutes into Sunday school class. Again I leave before class is over to open it and I stay in there until relief society is a good 10 minutes into it, but have to leave before class ends and then stay there until all the items have been returned and by that time most everyone has gone home. To some people that wouldn't be a big deal, but to someone who is a social as I am it's a BIG deal. I don't get to visit with anyone before church, in between classes or after church and I hate it! It's not just the lack of being social with my friends. I just don't feel it's where I should be in general. I don't enjoy anything about it. I seriously cried the rest of the day. If they are going to pull me out of a calling that I love with the young women, then at least put me in one that I'm passionate about and feel like I'm making a difference. This is just so hard. I'm torn between trying to find the blessings of why I've been placed here and meeting with the bishop to discuss other options that don't put me in the depths of depression, because that's where I'm at right now and I just don't think I'm willing or able to continually be miserable.
Vent over...so sorry. Since it's my blog, I just wanted record of my feelings at this point in my life. Not looking for sympathy.

Chad traded in his Ford Mustang and bought himself a Chevy Silverado Z71 4X4 truck. He loves it! It sure is pretty...but as a mother it's kind of weird and scary when your kids start establishing their own credit. I told him we'd go over a budget to keep his finances in order. If he is good with his money he could get and maintain a good credit score. I know from experience how hard it is to overcome not so good credit.
$5.18 for 3 bags of ice from Sonic. Best spent money ever in my mind...and done frequently.
I've decided that I can never live far from a Sonic. I just love their ice too much. I can't go a day without it. It's so bad I even brought up an ice chest full of just ice to girls camp. (along with a case of water) I fill up my big scrapaholic mug 4 times a day with yummy ice water and the occasional Pepsi! I rarely leave home without my cup of water. I have spilled it a time or two in the car. (don't tell Mark) It hasn't stopped me from bringing it with me. I love my ice water. It makes me happy. It's nice to have something so small bring me happiness. What small things make you happy?

25 comments:

jackson family said...

yay! whata good job you are doing on the library already the pencils and crayons look so much better and things always get misplaced we miss you in YW but you are so good at organization and it is importatn to be organized within the church.

I love beds that are made hate a messy bed.

Kassie said...

Jolene, sorry this is such a difficult transition for you. I've always felt bad when released from a YW calling, not so much from any other, maybe it's just because it's YW?? Hang in there.
I got my new calling on Sunday.
Primary Pres.! I haven't had many primary calling and certainly none in the last 10ish years except Activity Days (which doesn't help me with understanding the running of it all on Sunday)So far, I'm okay, but we'll see how I feel after next week!

My small happy thing is to get a 'squeezy' from my baby, unsolicited!

Melissa said...

You are an organizing machine! You and my husband would get along great!

Small things that make me happy - since you've read my blog lately, you'll probably know it's getting to lie in bed flipping channels or watching movies, with no interruptions!

-Jennifer said...

If I recall, you were uneasy about your previous calling with the teenage girls but you seemed to adjust to it and enjoy it. Maybe it's just the idea of something new that gets you worried??

Miss Jenny said...

Okay, so..I didn't know you could buy ice at Sonic! And I think it is good that you don't give people the standard response to "How are you doing?" It's great to be honest. Sure, it might throw em for a loop..but oh well..it switches things up a bit. Keep yer chin up Jo Jo.

Anonymous said...

It seems so hard I know, but you are doing a great job already. Obviously someone with strong organization skills is needed. Open your heart and your mind and the answer will come. We find joy in the most unexpected of places. Maybe to find the reason you were choosen before you look for a new location would help give you insight and help you to resolve. Focus not on the negative, not on the positive - only on the moment. Clear your mind. The answer will come.

velvet brick said...

Hi my dear friend....
Well, if I was there, I'd be giving you a big ol' hug and a shoulder to cry on. Change can be so hard and challenging. I'm sorry that this new calling is acting like a stubborn mule trying to get pushed into the pen. Maybe just give it another good whack in the ass (like you did with the organization of those supplies!! Hello?! That kicked some butt!) But I also feel strongly that if the mule doesn't get into the pen with another 'kick' or two, a talk with the bishop might shed some light, offer a perspective or a tweak! I want you to feel good about who you are and what you are doing, Jolene. I am sending a hug and prayer your way....
btw...your comment on my post had me laughing!!!! Love you!!!! Now you'll excuse me while I go do a Citracell shooter! : )
VB

Susie Q said...

Organized woman you...I love it! I know this is a tough time but I also know you will get through it becasue I know what a storng and special lady you are. So there. : )

The Sonic ice sounds great...maybe I need to do this! We are just finally getting a Sonic near us. I always head there when I am further South!

Little things...like cozying up on the sofa to watch HGTV with just the dog, the cats, a quiet house and a bowl of popcorn. : ) Silly huh? A girl needs a little bit of quiet time right?

Love,
Sue

Cecilia said...

How amazing that even with all the struggles with the new calling you can manage to turn around and make a difference by organizing all those supplies. WAY TO GO GIRL!!!
I know it's hard, but hang in there. Everything has a purpose in life!!!

I've never bought ice from Sonic, but with everyone talking about it, I might have to try it!

Blogging late at night,(that's the only time my house is quiet) when I get home from work makes me happy:)

familywithfivekids said...

I completely understand about receiving a calling that just doesn't feel right. Before I was put in YW I had one of those too. I did everything that was asked of me and did it promptly and 100% but I just had no 'passion' for it. I may never understand why I was there...but I guess that is o.k. The Lord will bless you for your efforts Jolene. You are doing fabulous things with the library organizing! It looks great!
I need to get some of this Sonic ice - Never have but I need to try it!
Thanks for the comment on my blog -You are a true inspiration to me. I appreciate your friendship. :)
-Cori

The Picketts said...

First of all - do you want to come organize MY house for me? I'm HORRIBLE at that kind of stuff (I am good at keeping it organized, once it's done, but DOING it...WHOLE other story!) HA HA Second, I completely understand what you mean on the calling thing and not being able to socialize (we social butterflies need to stick together, I tell ya!) And thirdly, You made me laugh, because Chelsea Jenkins is just about as passionate about Sonic Ice as YOU are!!!! (I agree that they have great ice, but I thought Chelsea was about the only one that was as crazy about it! I LOVE IT!)

The Whitsitt Family said...

I can relate to your Sonic ice story. That stuff is the best! My mom loves to chew ice, and you can often find her at Sonic getting just a cup of ice. Unfortunately, I live in San Diego, and I am far away from a Sonic. I miss it, they have good food too. It is always our first stop when we go back home.

Nikki *Ü* said...

My SIL is the exact same way about Sonic ice. I call it hospital ice 'cuz it's what I've had with my 3 deliveries. We're not close enough to a Sonic to get it regularly, though. Love your organizing for the church library!! I wish ours was that organized. We still have the old mini cans for crayons and they don't have markers at all. Love the pencil sharpener idea in the box!! I am sorry you're so bummed about your calling. Hopefully things will get better for you with it!!

Jamie said...

I am sorry to hear that you are so unhappy with your new church responsibilities. I know this might not be something you want to hear from a stranger but I believe that you can find the good in this situation. Just take yourself out of the picture and try to focus on those that are coming for your help. Socialize with those that stop by the library and who knows you might make some new friends along the way. Hope that does not sound too harsh. It usually looks a lot worse typed out. Know what I mean?

On a totally different note... I had no idea Sonic sold ice like that. Neat!

Cindi said...

Awesome job on organizing the supplies! You've given me an idea to help Miss Allison stay organized!

I am sorry you are not happy with your new responsibilites. I understand where you are coming from about the missing out on the social side of your personality. I know I would be lost if I was in your same position. I am not LDS but have often admired how your wards are run. Our church is on a volunteer basis which can be good and bad...but that's a blog post by itself. I just wanted to send you a hug to let you know that I understand. One more thing....what is up with the Sonic ice??? We don't have one but may be getting one soon. Please tell me!

Briana said...

I'm so sorry that you're jsut still not "into" your new calling. It really stinks when you've got a job you hate. I feel for you and I'll pray that the right solution finds you.

Sonic ice...I know you'll fall over when you read this but I've never had it! We don't have Sonics out here. I've been to one once, but I got a slushie (I have a small addiction to those) instead. But I do love my ice water and I love to eat the ice. So I'm sure I'd relaly enjoy Sonic ice!

Andi said...

Well...obviously they need you as the Ward Librarian...look at how quickly you're getting them organized Jolene!!! What you've done looks amazing.

I'm a real "social" person too so I would be bummed if I had to arrive early and stay late and didn't get to visit with my friends. But I'm sure you'll be called for something new and wonderful in no time at all. Put a smile on that pretty face of yours and the time will go quickly. You know you're bound to be the best Librarian they ever had.

Love and Hugs to you, Andi

Valerie said...

i know you're not looking for sympathy, but dang it, you're gonna get it!

it doesn't seem fair...and i don't think it is, either, because i believe your talent is not being used to it's best in the library...even if you do love organization!

i still think you should talk to the bishop. the Lord wants you to serve with a happy heart...

Cassandra said...

I know you will do an amazing job with this calling as you did with YW's. You show individuality and creativity with each calling you have and maybe that's why you've been moved...to brighten up in an area that needed it. ((HUGS))

Hmmm...small things...definitely bubble baths! Bubble baths make me so happy!

Monogram Queen said...

I wish you could come and organize my house.........seriously. It's a mess. You would probably faint.

Hopefully your calling will change or get better. Remember how nervous you were at working with the young women and you did GREAT.

A good book makes me REALLY happy!

amydc said...

I too have a great love for Sonic Ice. It's a good thing!

amydc said...

Btw, can you tell me the font used for the labels on the containers?
I love it!

Nonie Mae.... said...

You have many wonderful gifts to offer and organization is one that you are very GOOD at. Keep your heart open and give it time and God will bless you for it.

Deanna (dw) Shain said...

Oh, girl, I am saddened to hear you so down. I know that this calling doesn't appear to fit your personality, but you know there is a greater purpose. And you know some callings last less time than others - maybe this will be a short-lived one. Maybe they just needed someone to come in and organize the library (and YES, you certainly fit into THAT calling - remember it is your ability to organize that led to our getting to know each other!) Maybe it is the one person you will touch while you are there serving (although I bet it'll be WAY more than one), maybe it is some other special touch you will add or system you will re-define. You have so much to offer! Remember how scared you were when you entered the last calling?! And YOU ROCKED!!!! Soon, there will be more sense of what you are there to accomplish, you'll see. But for now, hang in there and know that you are an awesome person with sooooo many talents they have no choice but to spread you around and share the wealth of what you can offer! And tell Mark that you will require more after church potlucks and mobile scrap time to make up for the lack of socialization!!! ;) Life's all about trade offs, right?!
BIG HUGS!!!! -d.
PS: Can you stretch that mobile scrapping into a trip to WA?!??? It's worth a shot!!!

Deanna (dw) Shain said...

Oh, and my small thing that makes me happy.....
fresh raspberries!
I love them! They are in my opinion the perfect fruit! Well, except for the fact that they don't stay fresh long enough.