Thursday, July 13, 2006

the ups and downs of feelings

When faced with trials you can't help but be on a rollercoaster of emotions. My mind has been going a hundred miles a minute, flooded with so many thoughts. I thought I was going to go crazy...then I decided it would help just to write some things down. So here is a list of the good and the bad to my crazy mixed up thoughts.

Bad- I am scared to death about my biopsy, the pain pills they will give me, and the chance of cancer being in my body.
Good- I'm touched by the outpouring of love and comfort from all of you. Some of you are family, some are old friends, some are new ones that I look forward to getting to know. I am truly grateful!
Bad- I'm so worried about my unborn grandson with his intestines showing damage already and the trials he will face in his very young life.
Good- He will have the best doctors taking care of him and the prayers of so many kind people. I have faith that Heavenly Father will be looking over him.
Bad- It's 112 degrees outside right now! Crazy HOT!
Good- My house is air conditioned and it works great!
Bad- Our new puppy Pumpkin chews on EVERYTHING and piddles in the house sometimes. She really gets on my nerves!
Good- She is so stinking CUTE! and we have a carpet cleaning business so her accidents are taken care of...thank heavens!
Bad- I stupidly agreed to watch my my sisters dog for 3 long weeks while she's on vacation. This dog is a disgusting nightmare...really gross!
Good- I have just over a week left...counting down the days!
Bad- Since it's been too hot to keep the naughty dogs outside, we've kept them in the laundry room. They have completely trashed it! That room totally stresses me out!
Good- Mark says HE will clean it all up! big WAHOO at that one!
Bad- the boys haven't been the best helpers around here this summer. It just kills me how messy they are.
Good- We are having a sit down family discussion to nip that one in the bud.
Bad- A girl that was my friend was horribly mean and hurtful. She was infuriated with some of my blog posts because she doesn't understand my life and she said I was making myself a victim and she thinks I take on too much. She's not happy unless you are talking about scrapping or shopping. Apparently I'm not suppose to share personal real life things??? She is very self absorbed and materialistic.
Good- I obviously didn't let her feelings stop me because here I am...writing about real stuff again. Although I LOVE to scrapbook and shop, there is just so much more to life...great things and not so great things. I do believe that this life is a test of love, service and kindness, so I do take on a lot because that is who I am. It makes me happy. Service is never the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing. She is no longer a part of my life so things are looking up already.

Bad-My bangs were so long and getting in my face all day. My hairdresser is out of town for the whole summer.
Good- I took my scrapbooking scissors and cut them myself. I'm sure she'll be wondering who did such an unprofessional job, but hey! I can see now!
Bad- My sister Coleen called and wanted me to go on an outing with her and the kids today. I've been so sad and grumpy lately that I told her no.
Good- Mark took me to breakfast then dropped me off with her anyways. I ended up having a good time. I'm glad they are so sneaky.
Bad- Mark is going on a motorcycle ride tonight with his friends and I will miss him.
Good- I get to lay in bed WITH the remote and watch whatever I want! :o)

When I'm on the downside of this rollercoaster ride of emotions I know I have good people to cheer me up! I really am a happy nice girl most of the time...honest!
Thanks for everything! I love and appreciate all of you!...yes...even the lurkers. Don't be afraid to talk to me. :o)


Jen said...

you are human and we have ups and downs, i do! and you're so right, there's more to us than shopping and scrapping and is someone doesn't realize that, they are fortunate to have a care free life...which I thought only existed in fairy tales

Hang in there....easier said than done, I know, but try....:)

Chris said...

Hey your life is so normal. I get to come see you in a month. Morgan is so excited to see you guys. I re-read your blog and I vote that your goods are outweighing your Bads, so there.

Alisa said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Just remember that your blog is YOUR blog. You should write anything you want to write. If people don't like it then they should not read it..
I feel honored that you would share what you share with us. I think the words of actual encouragement you get from your readers/lurkers help with trying times.

Try and remember all the good things that surround you. They far outweigh the bad..

Rhonna said...

good & bad...
we have it all, huh?
but, wtg on focusing on the good!

Chickenbells said...

Thank you so much for being so real on your blog. I just ran into a wonderful friend of mine today...and we had a "real" conversation with each other. She mentioned that she has another friend that said to her "...yes, I often have things go wrong in my life too...I just choose to focus on the good things and not talk about the rest" and I sad.

How sad that we could choose not to share things with each other about what is really going on in our lives. Although, I agree...looking for the good and bad in each situation is helpful, believe me...but actually talking about what is really going on in your life is the most helpful of all! Knowing that we all have things going on helps me to feel that much more connected...

thank you lovey...and enjoy your special TV night! (wink wink)

Kelly Walker said...

That is anawesome way to look at all that has happened in your family life lately!! Through it all you are blessed to have such a wonderful husband, kids, and friends in your life!! I wish I could have control of the TV remote sometime :) so enjoy it!!

Jen said...

Absolutely you can add me to your list of blogs you read....:)
Thanks for your kind's so nice to know I'm not alone in what I'm searching for right now. :)
Hang in there yourself :)

Lisa Marie said...

We all have those up and down times...bravo to you for choosing to not just look and the down ones! I'm praying things go well for both you with your biopsy and your unborn grandson. May God bless you both!

September Radecki said...

Hey Jolene? I love you, warts and all. :-D Life can't always be rosy and wonderful, and shopping won't make you happy when you're old, so who cares. People who are that material just are not real friends, they are "fair weather friends" and it's best to let them drop out of your life. :)


Keri Tate said...

Wow! I'm so happy that you can see the balance and that is great! So many bad things happen, it can be really hard to see the good. I think it takes a lot more energy to search out the good when the bad is oftentimes hitting us over the head. I admire you for taking the time and energy to put things in perspective. It will make you healthier and happier!
I continue to send you good thoughts each day!

SmileyCarrie said...

Good for you.. for looking at the "good" in the bad. *HUG* Sending tons of good thoughts and wishes your way.

Katherine said...

My thoughts are with you {{{Hugs}}}. I hope everything turns out okay. I will also keep your soon to be grandson in my prayers. Sending lots of love your way!! *~*~*~**~*~*

Kate I said...

Jolene, life has thrown a lot at you right now and there's no easy way to get through it - just keep doing what you're doing, one day at a time, even one minute at a time. You're an amazing lady - don't forget that! Hugs to you!

Mystic Paper ~ shop, create, play said...


I am amazed by your strength.You would never know that life has given you these challenges. I am sure that things will turn out well. Your positive attitude, your ability to look at the good and the bad, and your zest for life and the people around you will carry you through the trying times. Best wishes!

Joni said...

You are inspiring me to get out of the dumps - I have nothing close to this serious going on in my life, but have found myself just feeling down & blah about some rather unimportant issues in the grand scheme of things. I'm going to make a good/bad list and I'm pretty sure I'll see there's nothing to be down about. :) One of my friends has a standard comment to troubled times ..."God Is Bigger" ... Yes, He is. :)

ashlee said...

love the way you balanced the bad with the good. thats life in a nutshell. hope there is something good on tv for you to watch since your in control!

Pam said...

WOW! If someone things that life is all about scrapping and shopping then they must be living under a rock! Who needs that kind of friend anyway! YOU are good to be rid of them!

It's great to write down the good and the bad, sometimes the bad seems a bit easier to take when it's got good to go with it! :) Also, try to make two goods to go with the bad and it will outweigh the bad! Also if it doesn't get you down it will make you stronger I always say! :) Big hugs to you! Enjoy your TV night! I love getting the remote to myself! Lifetime here I come! If the Red Sox aren't on! ;)